Today was significant. I came face to face with a significant person from my past; my ex. For days, I have been feeling so anxious working myself up to be in one room with this person but I knew it needed to happen.

I needed to look this person in the eyes. I needed to feel like I am strong. They might have tried to break me but I am still here. I am still standing. It is funny how a lot is given away in the eyes. Funny how someone can torture you for months, but when it comes to looking you in the eyes, they can’t look you in the eyes.

It makes me think how can they look at themselves in the mirror? How can they sleep at night? I guess I have learnt to accept that I will never know the answer to this as I am not made like these people. I am not like him and thank God for that. I am not a person with a heart who can bring such pain and suffering to another human being with intention, and then show no remorse.

I pray I am never the cause for anyone to feel so low in life and I pray that no one has to face that. I have been in that darkness, and I will never let it envelope me again.

I have thought about this day for months. How it will feel after finally seeing him. I thought I would feel some love, some emotion. But in fact, I felt indifferent. Part of me actually felt some pity on him. The way he was speaking and the points he was bringing up just showed he has spent so much energy just thinking about monetary and material things. It is sad actually, that that’s all it comes down to.

We are all going to leave this world one day and none of those things are ever going to come with us.

I feel like a weight has finally been lifted today and I can start looking forward.

I hope everyone out there stays strong, if they are going through difficult times. You are stronger than you think.

With love always,

Amina xo