Hey everyone,

Happy New Years Eve and Happy New Year (in advance).

I thought I would come on here before I am due to start work. I am doing an evening shift since I drew the short straw so will be ringing in the New Year at work. The last year has been one of great personal growth for me. I started off 2025 fresh from the loss of my beloved father and then going through the ongoing abuse in my marriage till one day something flicked like a switch, and I had enough. I was so broken inside that, I could not recognise myself anymore, not in my self, not when I looked in the mirror. I was so far from ‘me’ in the five years of my relationship that I did not even recognise myself.

And then came the further abuse from him, just this time, from afar. It really does surprise me how you can share the most intimate moments with someone and not really know them. It took me months and I am still grieving the loss of what I thought was my forever. But it is very true, that God had better plans for me. He saw what I did not see at the time, which was how much my he damaged my mental health. Everyone around me saw it. My spark had gone.

But, this is also the year I started to find myself and my spark again. I started remembering the things that filled my cup, I started enjoying my life again, I started living for myself again, and everyone around me saw that too. And then I realised, that it was me. I was the light in the marriage. I was the one who showed and spread love to both our families. I was the one who tried to bring happiness around me, even though he was tearing me down bit by bit.

So, apart from all the cliché resolutions that we all have every year.. get more fit, eat more healthy etc etc; I have one resolution. And that is to choose myself. I will not allow anyone or anything to disturb my mental peace. I will not allow myself to shrink for anyone and I will not allow anyone dim my sparkle.

Let’s hope 2026 is a better year. The only way is up, right?

Sending love always,

Amina xo