Hey everyone,

It has been a busy few days, and I am emotionally and physically exhausted. I have actually been struggling the last few days, from still feeling so unwell and unable to shift this cough to overthinking all the possibilities due to all my impending life changes. Amidst all this, I was trying to calm my thoughts one night and I started watching the Sean Combs documentary on Netflix. Honestly, I was hooked right away. Growing up listening to Diddy, B.I.G. and seeing the rap scene evolve, I found the whole documentary very interesting… to say the least. It was fascinating to see the portrayal of Diddy and just how the chain of events all evolved in his life.

I guess this is the thing. Some people believe they are untouchable and almost have a God like complex, but if there is one thing guaranteed in this world, it is that we shall all face death, and reckoning (for those who believe in an afterlife). It was also very eye opening to see his relationship with Cassie, and what I actually found more interesting is the reactions of others to the themes and allegations of domestic abuse. There was a juror on the show, that spoke about his opinion. Something about what he said was bugging me, about her going back to him again and again. I think some people cannot appreciate the extent of abuse in a relationship.

Abusive relationships often blend affection with fear, create financial dependence, and involve threats of retaliation or subtle isolation from friends and family. They can also include periods of intense ‘love-bombing’ after episodes of violence. Due to these patterns, relationships can continue for many years even while abuse is taking place.

Trauma responses can appear inconsistent to those outside the situation, yet they are entirely normal. Survivors may stay with their abuser, return after leaving, defend them at times, or seem calm and detached when describing traumatic events. They might minimise what happened or even re-establish contact after escaping. Although these behaviours can seem confusing to people without lived experience of trauma, psychology recognises them as trauma bonding, survival mechanisms, dissociation, and the gradual normalisation of abusive behaviour.

Just some food for thought.

With love,

Amina xo