I think it’s okay if I am a bit sad forever. Not drowning every day, not having palpitations and crying myself to sleep, not sobbing in my car, not stuck in the past, but just a bit sad. A bit sad, like carrying a quiet ache that never really leaves you. That sadness will remind me everyday that you were real- your love for me was real. You mattered. You existed in my world in a way that changed me. Grief isn’t something that I want to erase. It is the reminder to myself everyday that I was lucky to know you. It is also proof that our love did not get enough time. And maybe that is the pain I have to carry for having had something so meaningful- it is a pain I am proud to carry. A pain that feels like a soft, permenant sadness that will follow me for years to come, whispering that you were here. That you are always here, in my heart forever.