Hey everyone,

So I am slowly on the road to recovery. I am still not 100% but I am slowly gaining some of my energy back. I have been up, early and I am dressed and ready as I have an appointment at 10am.

Whilst I was awake in the early hours of this morning, I was reflecting on a few things. This time last year I was in a job at a GP practice, working there in a permanent role. I was thinking of a few things and reflecting on how I was treated and now I think about it, it was total workplace bullying. No other words for it. I don’t even know what I did but there was such a toxic work environment in that place. Everyone was so intimidated by me and in my own innocent mind, for no good reason. After starting there, a few weeks in, I started getting a lot of praise and appreciation from patients, and it became obvious after a while that a lot of the long term staff felt threatened and now I think about it a year on, jealous. Pure jealousy.

Jealousy is an interesting concept in itself. Jealousy usually stems from the fear of loss, low self-worth or insecurity, anxious attachment patterns or some previous trauma manifesting itself. In this instance, them being threatened and jealous had no actual use. They were there to do their job and go home and I was there to do my job and treat and care for my patients and go home. I do not see anyone as competition, apart from myself. Others should really start taking on this approach, and maybe some work environments would be less toxic.

In my mind, I was in my own lane and I am secure in myself that I do not view others as my competitors at work. Yes, of course seeing others do well and progress makes me want to do better and motivates me but I do not use this to be jealous and toxic and cruel towards others. The work environment that I was in was so toxic, that at the end, it was actually draining and becoming a bit of a high school playground.

Honestly, some people grow up just in their physical body but not in their actions and it is really sad to see. It is really sad to see grown women playing these ‘high school games’. By the way, one of these women was actually older than my own mother!

I am so glad God removed me from that environment. It is crazy how when you think God is throwing you a curveball, He is actually protecting you in so many ways you do not even realise.

Alhamdulillah (Praise be to God)…

And on that note, I better get started with my day. I have a lot of things to do and also hopefully catching up with a friend too.

Hope you all have an amazing weekend, whatever you’re doing!

With love,

Amina xo